The Amy-Sheldon Equasion
by Dave Zoidberg
Summary: A rewrite of the Amy episode! This one has a lot more romance than the original. Enjoy it, peebles!
1. Chapter 1: The Bet

**A/N: Hey guys, Zoidberg here. I am being ambitious and working on 2 fanfics at once! *makes ninja/dale from koth noise* A BIG BANG SHAMY FANFIC! SHIPPING WOOOOO**

Sheldon Cooper was writing on his whiteboard, explaining something to Leonard (thinking Leonard knew nothing, and Penny was busy.) "And that's why, I'll never have a girlfriend." Sheldon said after some rambling. Leonard sighed. "Damn right, my friend." Leonard said. "Ah, but you didn't let me finish! I was going to say Bazinga! I mean, who could resist this hot body?!" Sheldon said, making his koi smile. "I dunno, Penny, every girl on earth? I mean, except that girl who's a lot like you, Amy. But what chance do you have with her, huh? Because you refuse to date." Leonard said, in a low voice. Sheldon made his, well, Sheldon noise. "Well, maybe I will talk to her. I bet you a juice box." Sheldon replied. "Sure. But can you hang a webcam on your head? I want to watch this FAIL with Penny." Leonard said. "Sure." Sheldon said.

**A/N: U like? Tell me in the reviews!**


	2. Chapter 2: The Webcam

**A/N: Well, WELCOME BACK TO DA REWRITE. **

Sheldon Cooper was mad. He was even considering calling his Mee-mah. "Mee-Mah says not to date because dating is throwing a knife at Christ! But…I want to make Leonard eat his words! NYEEHHH!" Sheldon screamed pacing around his bedroom. Leonard was out with Penny, presumably at the Cheesecake Factory, as Penny never worked, and Leonard was eating nothing. So basically, they were both doing NOTHING. Until Sheldon went to Dungeons and Dragons online. "Lol, I don't see a webcam feed on Webby!" Leonard had messaged him in the IM section. Sheldon dug out his XELON ear mounted webcam, and followed the instructions to stream it to Webby. He messaged Leonard back. "There, its on, and get ready to eat your words, Leonard Hoftstader." Before he could blink, another message came in. "Thanks…Amy lives in apartment 9B…I'll be watching you, Shelly." Sheldon exited their tiny nerdy studio apartment and walked another 3 floors up, and knocked on the door, but not before saying, "Leonard, get ready to give me a JUICE BOX!" "Hi, who are you? Are you an intruder? SPOCK!" she screamed. "I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper, and I pronounce you, hot." Sheldon said, with his koi smile. "I'll date you, but under these conditions. No physical relationship, cuddling not included as physical, and I am only dating you because once a year, I have to date. Here is my number, bye." And Amy handed Sheldon a note. There was a little note attached to it, but Sheldon waited to get back to his apartment to read it. And he also wanted to read it over a cran-apple juice box.

**A/N: There it is, chapter 2 of the rewrite of the first big bang amy episode. Also shout out to Fanfiction lady, thank you for your encouraging note (and remember, I know who you are. :D)**


	3. Chapter 3: The Juice Argument

**A/N: Lets just get on with the story, shall we?**

Sheldon turned on DDO. "Hey Lenny. Cran-apple please." Sheldon messaged. "Ha ha, Sheldon. Oh…MAKE ZOIDBERG DO IT!" Leonard replied. Attached was a picture that said "Need a juicebox? WHY NOT ZOIDBERG?" "A deals a deal, Amara." Sheldon replied. About 20 minutes later, Leonard was home, holding a cran-apple juice. "Here you go, overlord!" Leonard said sarcastically. "Ah, well! THIS IS APPLE-CRAN! BUY IT AGAIN!" Sheldon yelled. "There is no difference!" Leonard replied. "Why would a settle for apple-cran when I could have cran-apple!?"

**A/N: Alright, I'm SORRY! This chapter was useless but its thanksgiving and thanksgiving is so boring so I really need to write useless chapters k hjshdj. Peace out, Zoidberg.**


	4. Chapter 4: The Note

**A/N: I am back from the EXTREMELY LONG commercial break! Also, all my fans (very few lol) thx for constructive criticism.**

After Sheldon won the argument, Sheldon decided to read the note. It read,

Dear Sheldon, I have known you forever, long distance of course. Your Mee-Mah gave me my blanket.

Love, Amy Farrah Fowler 3

"By golly! Now I know what Mee-Mah meant by 'Shelly! You should date Aff!' Wow! I HAD NO FRICKIN IDEA." Sheldon went back to playing the singleplayer campaign of Starcraft ||: Lecacy of the Void.

**A/N: K, done, that should free up time for a bit. So, check my profile for story schedule. Peace out, Zoidberg (I miss futurama. ;.**


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